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 Caskets for Miscarriages

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futureshock

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PostSubject: Caskets for Miscarriages   Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:11 pm

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prolifeamerica
I had three miscarriages at 10, 6, and 17 weeks and was never able to find a burial container for any of my babies even the one who died at 17 weeks who was 8 inches long.


Now you have it, caskets for miscarriages! What's next, caskets for tampons?

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krystineM

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sat Aug 02, 2008 12:43 am

caskets for miscarriages..
maybe its to help to grieving process of loosing a child, maybe its for closure i dont know..
but even doctors explain to couples that if there's a miscarriage there's nothing you can do, and its for the best.

But how can you give a funeral for a being that really never technically was living in our world?
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futureshock

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sat Aug 02, 2008 9:26 am

krystineM wrote:

But how can you give a funeral for a being that really never technically was living in our world?

I don't know. The creepiest part for me is, all you can see is blood in early miscarriages, so what exactly are they burying?

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Erulissė



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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sat Aug 02, 2008 11:23 am

The memory.

Funerals are always for the living.
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krystineM

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sat Aug 02, 2008 9:24 pm

but if it was a miscarriage it therefore was not living.
something had to be going wrong for the baby to abort itself from the womb.
otherwise the pregnancy would continue.
at 6, 10 and 17 weeks not all organs are functioning on its own, living outside of the womb is unlikely,
and they cannot breath on their own. some aren't even develpoed yet.

aren't funerals for those who have lived in this world and had a tragic death, illness, etc.
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Erulissė



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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:39 am

Well, a miscarriage was a living human, yes?

I meant that funerals are for the living relatives, friends, family, etc. Funerals are not for the benefit of the one who has died, since heck, they are dead, right? they are for the family to say bye. Like a Star @ heaven
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futureshock

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:50 pm

Erulissė wrote:
Well, a miscarriage was a living human, yes?
I respect the fact that there are people who view it that way, I do not. I see it as the loss of a potential person.
Quote :

I meant that funerals are for the living relatives, friends, family, etc. Funerals are not for the benefit of the one who has died, since heck, they are dead, right? they are for the family to say bye. Like a Star @ heaven
I agree.

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RebelCats

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sun Aug 03, 2008 8:08 pm

krystineM wrote:


But how can you give a funeral for a being that really never technically was living in our world?

Would you say and feel the same if the miscarriage happened closer to 30 or even at 40 weeks and it was a still born? After all it never actually lived in our world.

Fact of the matter is it helps some people get through the grieving process. It seems to me a miscarriage indicates it was a wanted pregnancy so someone will grieve the loss even if they were only 6, 10, or 30 weeks. If it helps give them closure then so be it.
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krystineM

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:39 pm

i agree it is to grieve a loss of a child or like future said, potential person
but like the doctors tell you when you go for your first check up, there is nothing you can do if a miscarriage happens.
its for the best, and you can always try again.
its a hard thing to go through, but its not the end of the world, you can always try again and think of the miscarriage as what was best for that child.

I would think that having a miscarriage at 30 weeks would be much harder because your pretty much full term, and have had a longer connection with that child than a miscarriage earlier on in the pregnancy. Same for a still birth.
But everyone has their own way of grieving.
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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:35 am

I'm pretty sure you can't have a miscarriage after viability, I think it's called a still birth.

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:12 am

Up to 20 weeks its called a miscarriage. Past that I suppose its a still birth if the unborn is dead or pre-term if its alive at birth.

My point tho was if a earlier miscarriage should not have a funeral because it never really lived in our would the same could be said about a pregnancy that is lost at 30 weeks.

My point is I don't carry if the pregnancy is lost at 6 weeks or 30 weeks if it will help someone to have a funeral then so be it.
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krystineM

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:15 am

i dont think i would throw a funeral though.
i would have the baby cremated and put in a urn.
but i wouldnt have a funeral
it would be a hard thing to go through.
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EiriForLife



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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:56 pm

futureshock wrote:
Quote :
prolifeamerica
I had three miscarriages at 10, 6, and 17 weeks and was never able to find a burial container for any of my babies even the one who died at 17 weeks who was 8 inches long.


Now you have it, caskets for miscarriages! What's next, caskets for tampons?
Like I posted there, I think it's a beautiful idea. I know I would want to bury my child no matter why they died.

This is meant for late-term miscarriages, not early-term miscarriages which often end up in the toilet, sadly. It's irrelevant what it's called, I know from the other forum that these caskets are meant for "still births" or whatever you want to call them. I don't know of many women who would want to bury a tiny bag of blood.
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futureshock

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Mon Aug 11, 2008 3:23 pm

EiriForLife wrote:


This is meant for late-term miscarriages, not early-term miscarriages which often end up in the toilet, sadly. It's irrelevant what it's called, I know from the other forum that these caskets are meant for "still births" or whatever you want to call them. I don't know of many women who would want to bury a tiny bag of blood.

It would certainly make more sense if that were the case, but according to the website, it's not.


Plastic Casket (0 - 13 Weeks)

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EiriForLife



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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Mon Aug 11, 2008 8:46 pm

futureshock wrote:
EiriForLife wrote:


This is meant for late-term miscarriages, not early-term miscarriages which often end up in the toilet, sadly. It's irrelevant what it's called, I know from the other forum that these caskets are meant for "still births" or whatever you want to call them. I don't know of many women who would want to bury a tiny bag of blood.

It would certainly make more sense if that were the case, but according to the website, it's not.


Plastic Casket (0 - 13 Weeks)
*shurg* I still don't have a problem with it. If a woman really feels that it will give her closure, then I feel its her right to do so. The hospital can give her the bag sealed up, or even place it in the casket in the hospital to assure no contamination.
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krystineM

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:17 am

A friend of mine had a miscarriage this year, she has a son who is 10 years old, and they were trying for a second one,
and at 16 weeks she had a miscarriage.
Instead of throwing a funeral for a tiny ball of bloody cells, she got a tattoo of a pair of tiny foot prints and the date of her miscarriage under them.
I think that's a good way for closure.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a tattoo, it could be anything, other things then funeral for something that yes, would have brought joy into the world, but did not get a chance to do so.

That sounds gross and just...not right..for the hospital to put a miscarried baby into a plastic bag for the mother to bring home?
Then every woman who has a miscarriage which happens in a toilet should just go fishing for miscarriages too so they can give them a funeral...

Somethings happen for a reason. They tell you this at the doctors office.
There is nothing you can do about it, and it was most likely for the best, the fetus aborts itself from the womb because there could have been problems with it, something could have been going wrong which you are not aware of.
But you can always try again.
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EiriForLife



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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:22 pm

If they placed the bag in the casket it would be a closed-casket ceremony and no one would know it was a bag of blood.

I still think a woman has a right to mourn any way she chooses. Speaking of tattoos, I've finally decided on the one I want someday!
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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:49 pm

EiriForLife wrote:


I still think a woman has a right to mourn any way she chooses.

Exactly.

krystineM wrote:
and at 16 weeks she had a miscarriage.
Instead of throwing a funeral for a tiny ball of bloody cells,

At 16 weeks its more then just a tiny ball of bloody cells.

http://www.pregnancy.org/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment2.php

Look at week 15-16 and 17 thats more than just a ball of tiny cells.
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EiriForLife



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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:25 pm

RebelCats wrote:
EiriForLife wrote:


I still think a woman has a right to mourn any way she chooses.

Exactly.

krystineM wrote:
and at 16 weeks she had a miscarriage.
Instead of throwing a funeral for a tiny ball of bloody cells,

At 16 weeks its more then just a tiny ball of bloody cells.

http://www.pregnancy.org/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment2.php

Look at week 15-16 and 17 thats more than just a ball of tiny cells.

At 21 weeks it can survive outside the womb, so there's no way it could only be a ball of cells at week 16... but that's one of the biggest pro-choice lies: fooling women into thinking they are not carrying a human being. Even when I was pro-choice I hated it when the unborn was referred to as "a blob of cells".

At 16 weeks, the baby is almost 5 inches long. If that was a "blob of cells", that would be a terrifying blob for sure! It has fully formed limbs and fingers, all internal organs, and is beginning to practice breathing. It can swallow, hiccup, and moves around quite a bit.
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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:32 pm

I am pro-choice now but even before I knew that at 16 weeks it was more than just a blob of cells.
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EiriForLife



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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:32 pm

I mean goodness! By week 4 it's already far beyond a blob of cells:
http://www.pregnancy.org/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment1.php

It's a tadpole XD Still, that's not a blob.
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krystineM

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:37 pm

it is not very likely that it can survive outside the womb at 21 weeks.
and if it does survive, birth defects, disabilities and complications are much much much more common to happen.
my doctor told me and my OB had told me that the earliest a baby can survive outside the womb is 25weeks. and even then there can be defects, disabilities and complications.

and i realize that it is not a ball of cells at 17and on weeks, i was saying that if someone had a miscarriage in the toilet, its basically like a bloody ball of cells that they would pick up to have a funeral for.

ya they have the right to mourn in anyway they choose, but it seems ...i dont know weird i guess to give a funeral to a miscarriage.
they cant breathe on their own, organs are not functioning on their own, some are not even delevoped yet, the skin might even be see-through because their not developed enough to produce fatty tissue and what not...
but i guess to some, the miscarriage is a living breathing human being inside the womb or not.
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EiriForLife



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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:47 pm

krystineM wrote:
it is not very likely that it can survive outside the womb at 21 weeks.
No, but it is possbile. If there was a 5% chance you would survive an operation VS a 100% chance of death, don't you think you'd choose the operation? If a woman decides she doesn't want to be pregnant anymore and can't get into the clinic until 20+ weeks, I feel the baby should be removed alive and they should try to save it.

Unless of course it is an extremely acute situation where the child needs to be removed immediately and there isn't time for a c-section or delivery (even though late term abortions are birth in reality, to my knowledge).

Quote :
and if it does survive, birth defects, disabilities and complications are much much much more common to happen.
It's better than being dead - it's better than your death being dismemberment or poisoning with no care taken for the pain you may feel. There is a chance of life, and that life deserves the chance to live.

Quote :
my doctor told me and my OB had told me that the earliest a baby can survive outside the womb is 25weeks. and even then there can be defects, disabilities and complications.
Well your OB is wrong, a child was born at 21 weeks, 6 days.

Quote :
and i realize that it is not a ball of cells at 17and on weeks, i was saying that if someone had a miscarriage in the toilet, its basically like a bloody ball of cells that they would pick up to have a funeral for.
If a woman had a miscarriage in a toilet it would be much younger than 17 weeks.

Quote :
ya they have the right to mourn in anyway they choose, but it seems ...i dont know weird i guess to give a funeral to a miscarriage.
What seems weird to you seems wonderful to others.

Quote :
they cant breathe on their own, organs are not functioning on their own, some are not even delevoped yet, the skin might even be see-through because their not developed enough to produce fatty tissue and what not...
So?

Quote :
but i guess to some, the miscarriage is a living breathing human being inside the womb or not.
I don't think they believe it can breathe, but it is certainly living and it is 100% a human being until it dies.
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RebelCats

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:50 pm

To me if a person calls it a miscarriage it indicates that it was a wanted pregnancy. If it is wanted some people may choose to mourn the loss of that fetus (or baby whatever term one is comfortable with) with a funeral.

I will say even if I did not take said fetus home for burial I would still have some type of memorial ceremony for that child that was lost.
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krystineM

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PostSubject: Re: Caskets for Miscarriages   Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:54 pm

...if its a miscarriage it therefore has died.
therefore not a human any longer.

and i agree Rebel Cat.
i would grieve in a different way, and mourn the loss differently than with a funeral.
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