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 Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?

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PostSubject: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Mar 09, 2008 2:02 pm

Why do women and girls want to get pregnant by a guy before that guy has even proposed to them? If guys want children with women, they usually get down on one knee and propose marriage.

Too often it seems when girls or women want children, they just get pregnant and have them, regardless of what their boyfriends want. Is it really such a surprise that the vast majority of men leave the relationship?
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PostSubject: Reply to the message   Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:10 pm

I feel alot of people now a days lose faith in marrage with the amount of brake ups and divorce's they feel that theyre better off not marrying. (wierd though) but to be honest i would of marryed mine! this babys a thoughtless night when i was very careless!
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Mon Mar 10, 2008 8:21 pm

either way though, a relationship can end because they arent ready to be a parent or because they cant take it anymore, or their opinion isnt being heard.
A pregnancy doesnt always make a relationship easier, well clearly it doesnt cuz its hard work.
Its usually the teens that get pregnant before marriage though, and the guy ends up leaving cuz hes a playa! lol or isnt ready to be a dad and wants nothing to do with the kid cuz it 'aint his!' well majority the other half are those of common law marriages, and then theres the odd couple.
Its sad that this happens, but in the end a bit of a lesson to those who rushed it and didnt have a supporting spouse, i think God every night that my bf/fiance is happy about our pregnancy and is happy to be a dad.
But guys like that, are 1 in a million.

Ayrshire-lass...thats such a sad thing to say, this baby is a thoughtless night when you were careless...
it must not have been too careless or you would have chosen not to keep it right?
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Fri Mar 14, 2008 8:14 pm

I do not believe marriage is needed to become pregnant and provide a healthy life for a child. I do believe that you should be in a loving commited relationship and set a healthy example for your child.

Many people choose not to be married because it "ties the down" I believe this is an excuse to have an easy exit in case things get too rough for them. Everyone thinks that relationships should be easy these days. What bs. You need to work at it. Their will be fights and rough spots. If you can't deal with this do not have a child and do not get married. End of discussion.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:14 pm

Hi Danielle. I agree with most of what you just said.
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krystineM

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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:44 am

most couples these days are living together for years and are now married as a common law marriage,
example, my mom just last year got marrieg to my step dad, and they had beein living together for 10years! and then during december decided to tie the knot.
my dad and step mom are living as common law marriage as well and had a child together my little sister
I think most people choose to have a marriage that way, because its easier, and your right you have to work at it, but even without a marriage to tie you down, theres always kids to now tie you down. maybe they feel the child is what pieces their marriage together.
Also marriages are alot more expensive these days, i think because of that some just have their child [even though babies are expensive too] because they'd rather pay for their baby than a marriage that costs almost if not more than raising a baby.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Mar 15, 2008 4:48 pm

I think that if the guys really wanted the girls, they would propose to them.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Mar 15, 2008 6:38 pm

I agree FS. If a guy wants to be with you why not finalize it? Again, it shows the lack of commitment that people have these days.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:24 pm

some couples live together to see how things would be when they live together, because after living with someone you find out alot about a person, even things you never knew about them.
But i think that just because their not proposed to it doesnt show lack of committment, because they still want to be in a relationship with them and bring a child into the world, and now they are labeled as a common law marriage which possibly in their eyes, is good enough for them, because they address one another as husband and wife even if its not offical.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:38 pm

why do girls get pregnant before they get a marriage proposal? Maybe because the year is 2008 not 1508, or 1208 or any such medieval or primeval stupdity that ties fertility to a slave ring? Maybe because a baby is wanted but some jackass underfoot all the time is not? Maybe they just don't want to be married? Who the fuck ever decided this is necessary?
Yeesh.. no thanks I had both mine sans slave band.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:07 am

I don't fully understand the thought process that you must be married to have children. Being married does not mean the child(ren) in question will always have 2 parents. Divorce happens and people leave behind their responsibilities with or without marriage. Yes I had a total of three kids out of marriage. 1 was by a complete loser who ran as soon as the word pregnant left my mouth. It was unplanned and yes I used BC. The next 2 were with my current husband. We wanted kids but did not want marriage at the time. IMO nothing wrong with that because we were committed and loved each other. When my middle son was 1 1/2 mths old we got married. And a year later became pregnant with our last son.

I agree with Jincks this is not the medieval where one has to be married to have a child. A marriage does not always make things better, does not always make a guy to commit to just one, does not make all life's problems go away, and does not make a man stay in a child's life.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Mar 16, 2008 11:05 am

I am not talking about situations in which an adult, self-supporting woman decides to have a child by herself. I understand that. I am talking about a boyfriend/girlfriend couple, where the girl decides to have a baby before the guy proposes to her, and she expects the guy to stay with her and raise the baby for 21 years.

RebelCats wrote:
I don't fully understand the thought process that you must be married to have children. Being married does not mean the child(ren) in question will always have 2 parents.
It does mean that the child will be much more likely to have two parents for a lot longer than an unmarried couple that has a child.
Quote :

Divorce happens and people leave behind their responsibilities with or without marriage.
Unmarried couples break up at at least TWICE the rate of married couples.

Quote :
Yes I had a total of three kids out of marriage. 1 was by a complete loser who ran as soon as the word pregnant left my mouth.
Case in point.
Quote :

It was unplanned and yes I used BC. The next 2 were with my current husband. We wanted kids but did not want marriage at the time. IMO nothing wrong with that because we were committed and loved each other. When my middle son was 1 1/2 mths old we got married.
Why did you get married?
Quote :

And a year later became pregnant with our last son.

I agree with Jincks this is not the medieval where one has to be married to have a child.
No one said it was.
Quote :
A marriage does not always make things better,
No one said it does.
Quote :

does not always make a guy to commit to just one,
A marriage is a commitment.
Quote :

does not make all life's problems go away,
No one said it does.
Quote :
and does not make a man stay in a child's life.

But married man is much more likely to stay in a child's life than an unmarried man.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Wed May 14, 2008 6:24 pm

futureshock wrote:
I am not talking about situations in which an adult, self-supporting woman decides to have a child by herself. I understand that. I am talking about a boyfriend/girlfriend couple, where the girl decides to have a baby before the guy proposes to her, and she expects the guy to stay with her and raise the baby for 21 years.

RebelCats wrote:
I don't fully understand the thought process that you must be married to have children. Being married does not mean the child(ren) in question will always have 2 parents.
It does mean that the child will be much more likely to have two parents for a lot longer than an unmarried couple that has a child.
Quote :

Divorce happens and people leave behind their responsibilities with or without marriage.
Unmarried couples break up at at least TWICE the rate of married couples.

Quote :
Yes I had a total of three kids out of marriage. 1 was by a complete loser who ran as soon as the word pregnant left my mouth.
Case in point.
Quote :

It was unplanned and yes I used BC. The next 2 were with my current husband. We wanted kids but did not want marriage at the time. IMO nothing wrong with that because we were committed and loved each other. When my middle son was 1 1/2 mths old we got married.
Why did you get married?
Quote :

And a year later became pregnant with our last son.

I agree with Jincks this is not the medieval where one has to be married to have a child.
No one said it was.
Quote :
A marriage does not always make things better,
No one said it does.
Quote :

does not always make a guy to commit to just one,
A marriage is a commitment.
Quote :

does not make all life's problems go away,
No one said it does.
Quote :
and does not make a man stay in a child's life.

But married man is much more likely to stay in a child's life than an unmarried man.

Source?
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:26 pm

Admin wrote:
Too often it seems when girls or women want children, they just get pregnant and have them, regardless of what their boyfriends want.

So they rape their boyfriends? How do they do so? How often do these rapes occur? What evidence do you have they occur as frequently as you think they occur?

Quote :
Is it really such a surprise that the vast majority of men leave the relationship?

After being raped by a woman? I guess not.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:35 pm

Jincks013 wrote:
why do girls get pregnant before they get a marriage proposal? Maybe because the year is 2008 not 1508, or 1208 or any such medieval or primeval stupdity that ties fertility to a slave ring? Maybe because a baby is wanted but some jackass underfoot all the time is not? Maybe they just don't want to be married? Who the fuck ever decided this is necessary?
Yeesh.. no thanks I had both mine sans slave band.

Slave ring? Where do you live? In Minnesota, marriage just changes your tax status and has a few other legal consequences.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:38 pm

RebelCats wrote:
A marriage does not always make things better, does not always make a guy to commit to just one, does not make all life's problems go away, and does not make a man stay in a child's life.

No, but it helps to establish consent and paternity.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:47 pm

futureshock wrote:
I am not talking about situations in which an adult, self-supporting woman decides to have a child by herself. I understand that. I am talking about a boyfriend/girlfriend couple, where the girl decides to have a baby before the guy proposes to her, and she expects the guy to stay with her and raise the baby for 21 years.

If she goes about it by rape, I can see your point. But that seems highly implausible.

Otherwise, how would she get pregnant? Are you suggesting that she somehow tricks the guy into injecting his penis into her vagina and ejaculating millions of sperm into her reproductive system? Or are you suggesting that these guys somehow do not know the consequences of doing so?

Quote :
Unmarried couples break up at at least TWICE the rate of married couples.

That is an interesting statistic. What is your source?
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:18 am

NorthStar wrote:
RebelCats wrote:
A marriage does not always make things better, does not always make a guy to commit to just one, does not make all life's problems go away, and does not make a man stay in a child's life.

No, but it helps to establish consent and paternity.

A simple blood test can determine paternity.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:23 am

RebelCats wrote:
NorthStar wrote:
RebelCats wrote:
A marriage does not always make things better, does not always make a guy to commit to just one, does not make all life's problems go away, and does not make a man stay in a child's life.

No, but it helps to establish consent and paternity.

A simple blood test can determine paternity.

But what if the man denies ever having anything to do with the woman? Do you think a court is going to force the man to take a blood test? And what if the man's location or legal name are not known? How would the blood test be obtained in those situations?
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:29 pm

NorthStar wrote:
RebelCats wrote:
NorthStar wrote:
RebelCats wrote:
A marriage does not always make things better, does not always make a guy to commit to just one, does not make all life's problems go away, and does not make a man stay in a child's life.

No, but it helps to establish consent and paternity.

A simple blood test can determine paternity.

But what if the man denies ever having anything to do with the woman? Do you think a court is going to force the man to take a blood test? And what if the man's location or legal name are not known? How would the blood test be obtained in those situations?

yes they will force him. Happens all the time man swears up and down that I did nothing with that woman. Fights the blood test but loses and low and behold the kid is his. Yes he did nothing with her.

Unless it was a one night stand (in which case most females won't pursue support because they have no idea who the guy is) most women at least know a first and last name and last known location.

And in most cases if the girl flat out does not know who she had sex with a blood test will not be pursued. When I had my oldest son (before the guardianship change) I got support from the state. I told them I knew not who the father was and they never pursued a blood test.

P.S I did know who the father was I just did not want the prick in our lives.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:27 pm

RebelCats wrote:
yes they will force him. Happens all the time man swears up and down that I did nothing with that woman. Fights the blood test but loses and low and behold the kid is his. Yes he did nothing with her.

Do you have any source for this assertion?

Quote :
Unless it was a one night stand (in which case most females won't pursue support because they have no idea who the guy is) most women at least know a first and last name and last known location.

But if they get married the name will be known.

Quote :
When I had my oldest son (before the guardianship change) I got support from the state. I told them I knew not who the father was and they never pursued a blood test.

P.S I did know who the father was I just did not want the prick in our lives.

Case in point. Taxpayers should not be footing the bill for this sort of freeloading.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:42 pm

I got state help for 6 mths (medical) until I gave guardianship to someone else in my family. Since then him nor I have need that assistance again. Call me freeloading all you want but no way in hell did I want a coke head 25 year old that knocked a 16 yr old up around my child. And that prick has been in and out of prison for his precious coke. And yet never in 11 years asked to see his child.

What do I have to back up my assertion that courts will force a blood test even if the guy denies being with her? Umm life. I have known women that had to go through that because they picked the wrong guy to become pregnant by.

I had two more kids before me and my husband got married. They all carried his last name. Whether married or not the child can carry the fathers name if he is there during the birth to sign the appropriate paper work.

NorthStar wrote:
RebelCats wrote:
yes they will force him. Happens all the time man swears up and down that I did nothing with that woman. Fights the blood test but loses and low and behold the kid is his. Yes he did nothing with her.

Do you have any source for this assertion?

Quote :
Unless it was a one night stand (in which case most females won't pursue support because they have no idea who the guy is) most women at least know a first and last name and last known location.

But if they get married the name will be known.

Quote :
When I had my oldest son (before the guardianship change) I got support from the state. I told them I knew not who the father was and they never pursued a blood test.

P.S I did know who the father was I just did not want the prick in our lives.

Case in point. Taxpayers should not be footing the bill for this sort of freeloading.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sun Jun 29, 2008 5:27 pm

Zeb wrote:
futureshock wrote:
I am not talking about situations in which an adult, self-supporting woman decides to have a child by herself. I understand that. I am talking about a boyfriend/girlfriend couple, where the girl decides to have a baby before the guy proposes to her, and she expects the guy to stay with her and raise the baby for 21 years.

RebelCats wrote:
I don't fully understand the thought process that you must be married to have children. Being married does not mean the child(ren) in question will always have 2 parents.
It does mean that the child will be much more likely to have two parents for a lot longer than an unmarried couple that has a child.
Quote :

Divorce happens and people leave behind their responsibilities with or without marriage.
Unmarried couples break up at at least TWICE the rate of married couples.

Quote :
Yes I had a total of three kids out of marriage. 1 was by a complete loser who ran as soon as the word pregnant left my mouth.
Case in point.
Quote :

It was unplanned and yes I used BC. The next 2 were with my current husband. We wanted kids but did not want marriage at the time. IMO nothing wrong with that because we were committed and loved each other. When my middle son was 1 1/2 mths old we got married.
Why did you get married?
Quote :

And a year later became pregnant with our last son.

I agree with Jincks this is not the medieval where one has to be married to have a child.
No one said it was.
Quote :
A marriage does not always make things better,
No one said it does.
Quote :

does not always make a guy to commit to just one,
A marriage is a commitment.
Quote :

does not make all life's problems go away,
No one said it does.
Quote :
and does not make a man stay in a child's life.

But married man is much more likely to stay in a child's life than an unmarried man.

Source?

“children born to cohabiting versus married parents have over five times the risk of experiencing their parents’ separation.”[9] Cohabiting couples also fail to measure up to married couples in many other respects. They tend to have higher rates of child abuse and family violence, for example, and significantly lower incomes. [10]

[9] Cynthia Osborn, W.D. Manning and P.M. Smock, “Married and Cohabiting Parents’ Relationship Stability: A Focus on Race and Ethnicity,” Journal of Marriage and Family 69 (2007): 1345-1366, p. 1345



[10] For review of the research, see; Mary Parke, “Are Married Parents Really Better for Children?” (Washington, DC: Center for Law and Social Policy, 2003). See also: David Crary, “Abuse Risk Seen Worse as Families Change,” Associated Press (Nov. 24, 2007)

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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Sat Jul 05, 2008 12:31 pm

RebelCats wrote:
Call me freeloading all you want but no way in hell did I want a coke head 25 year old that knocked a 16 yr old up around my child. And that prick has been in and out of prison for his precious coke. And yet never in 11 years asked to see his child.

I was calling him the freeloader. I do not think a minor's consent should be legally recognized.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do Girls get Pregnant Before they get a Marriage Proposal?   Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:40 pm

NorthStar wrote:
RebelCats wrote:
Call me freeloading all you want but no way in hell did I want a coke head 25 year old that knocked a 16 yr old up around my child. And that prick has been in and out of prison for his precious coke. And yet never in 11 years asked to see his child.

I was calling him the freeloader.

Good point. I don't think enough people point that out, that the father of the children in these situations is a freeloader, for letting other people pick up their responsibilities.
Quote :

I do not think a minor's consent should be legally recognized.
Consent for what in this instance? I'm thinking I may agree with you to a certain extent, but I'm not sure I know what you mean, exactly. (I'm not even sure I have my opinion on this worked out....)

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